Dear soon to be wife or newly wed, I was you – exactly 7 1/2 years ago! You know, we have it all together – working, volunteering, taking care of the house, planning a wedding and maybe even taking college classes. At the time, I thought I knew quiet a bit – I’m not saying I did not know anything but acknowledging now that I did not know as much as I thought.
One thing I’ve learned over the past several years carrying the title “wife and mother” is – we are CALLED to BE a source of JOY to our husbands.
Let’s rewind 7 years ago to a morning in our bathroom where I was literally about to kill my new handsome perfect to me husband (ok not kill but pretty close lol)
– I fell into the toilet bc he had left the seat up
– The toothpaste lid was off
– His underwear and socks were literally in every corner
I remember getting SO upset over “these things.” I mean how could two humans clash so badly but yet love each other over the moon and back and be on the same page in life?
You see God uses even “these things” to teach, shape and mold us. Ok fast forward 7 1/2 years (we’ve been youth pastor’s, experienced a miscarriage, grown more knowledge in financial matters, experienced heartbreak from unfulfilled dreams, Hayden going back and graduating from college after Gabe was born, death of our grandfathers, have two beautiful children, moved a few times….etc) we’ve been through a lot together to say the least – BUT GOD. He is faithful through every season. So anyways I’ll stop rambling. Wives how do we become a “source of joy” to our husbands?
1. Acknowledge that we cannot meet his every need and vice versa. First we must fill ourselves FULL of the Father. Read His word daily – multiple times a day (you ALWAYS have time) I encourage you to journal as well. Not a happy, fluffy or fake journal but one where you are REAL with God – about everything. There was a season when I was a new mom and felt like I didn’t “have time” to read my Bible and I went through a slump – that’s why I always say…you HAVE time – make it.
2. SERVE your husband. We live in such a “me” world that it’s gotten SO far away from what our Creator envisioned us doing. The moment you are “too good” to be a helping hand or to pick up after him without being asked then I feel we need to “reconnect” and make sure our hearts are truly aligned with HIS. Trust me I’ve picked up a LOT of underwear, socks and clothes that pile up on “that chair” over the years and the earlier years when I complained about it – did NOTHING. He at least gets them “near” the laundry basket now but what harm does it really do for me to pick them up? A few of my friends have lost their husbands unexpectedly due to car accidents lately and let’s just say – a moment like that – puts things into perspective. I thought to myself – honey miss the basket every single day, leave your guitar case wide open and guitar laying in the corner – I’ll gladly pick it up. I now pray over his clothes when I’m folding, ironing and putting them away – something as simple as “God, protect him, keep him safe and bless him with his meetings today. God pour out your favor on his work day and let him be a light for you……” (Expressing your feelings and desires in a sweet and calm way go MUCH further than bickering and nagging) Our Father actually teaches us wives NOT to nag and bicker. Ugh that’s a hard one! Be a source of JOY. SERVE with a smile. This doesn’t mean to be a doormat and let a man treat you wrongly but it does mean position your heart with the Father and when your source of JOY is from Him then you will overflow.
3. Live simple! So often we get caught up in the materialist things we possess in our marriage instead of the moments. Moments > possessions we recently decided to sell quiet a bit of our things (some still pending) just to simplify. We’ve been eating at home much more and there’s something so unifying about “the table” at home with your little family around it. Eating out has become a “treat”. Life is beautiful and when we are constantly working to just dust our collection we miss out and our own joy is dampered. Nothing wrong with having nice things but when you both crave more and more – once again, reconnect and make sure your hearts are aligned with the Father not with the world.
I feel like all three of these points are daily processes – meaning – we never achieve all of these. We need to renew our minds and reconnect our hearts daily! I’m FAR from perfect and still gripe about things from time to time but – the beauty of attempting to *keep* and follow these three points are G R A C E. When God sees our heart and sees us truly striving HE will fill the gap. Where we are weak HE makes us strong. Where we are stubborn HE makes us humble. Where we are impatient HE makes us patient. Where we are grumpy HE makes us joyful. Our ultimate source is HIM.
I want to challenge you to continually “dine” with your Creator and HE will sustain you, HE will fill you to overflow.
Go be joyful wives and truly LOVE your husbands.